Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
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We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
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I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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