go do what you do best...puke behind churches
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
