I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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