Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize