I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
third nipple confirmed
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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