So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
There's always time for handjobs
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize