Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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