I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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