I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
