I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
