I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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