I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize