First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.