he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize