whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
