Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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