I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
