Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
