It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize