im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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