why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
