I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize