i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize