how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
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Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?