How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.