ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.