i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
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i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
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there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm just crazy horny about you
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.