How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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