Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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