I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it was like eating out sand paper
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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