mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True strength comes from lack of pants
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
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