We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
