morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
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I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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