All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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