there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
