so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
