i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
