thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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