i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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