what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
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