There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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