I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes