just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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