something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
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Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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