Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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