you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
