We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize