Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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