So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
