So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
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mondays should just be called national damage control day
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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