if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
