Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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