I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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