So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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